BCC: Preston.Parker@usu.edu
Subject: Independence through Financial Education
Dear Seth Hawkins:
I would like to say hello and I hope that your day is well Seth. I continue to read your newspaper and enjoy writing for it.
I have recently become involved with an organization that intrigued me. I have been attending the meetings every other Thursday and have learned much. The Cache Valley Area Investors Association (CVAIA) is a new organization founded on ideals of education. Cache VAIA aims to put tools in the hands of those who strive to be independent.
Being a full-time university student, I don’t exactly have the most secure financial status. It’s doubtful for me to survive longer that a few months without a source of income. I joined CVAIA partly because of the teaching of financial security. Preston Parker is the president and founder. He teaches the ability to gain peace of mind in finances. Some members have made it to millionaires in just five years. Those ideas and teachings are worth looking into!
The primary goal of the organization is to educate its members. To give expertise and knowledge to those who can use it to become financially independent. It may take some time, but I see value in my membership. If you are interested in more information, please reply and I could set up an interview. If you are interested in joining and receiving information, send an email to CacheVAIA@gmail.com.
Sincerely,
JP Parrish
Public Relations:Corporate Communications
Journalism and Communications
Utah State University
J.P@aggiemail.usu.edu
http://www.jaypeedo.blogspot.com
5 comments:
I like how you made it personal by writing how this organization has helped you as a student. Great job!
JP! What a phenomenal job. Exquisite. Very personal.
Good Job. I liked that you made it personal instead of formal. It is more intriguing coming from a college student who really feels he is benefitting from the classes.
You would put a date at the beginning.
Stick with the acronym after introducing it (don't put Cache VAIA).
Interesting approach that you are a member of the association, but not anyone who is specifically in charge of publicity.
I would get some more of the lead elements near the beginning: meeting every other Thursday in the Cache County Chamber of Commerce at 7 p.m., anyone can attend and it's free of charge.
Also, have your call to action sentence at the end be a separate paragraph so it stands out.
JP,
Great salutation, it was creative and caught my attention and made me feel good. The rest was very well explained and comprehensable. Good job.
p.s. I got your email, sorry to have taken so long to respond, I got the assignment sheet yesterday from preston, I will try and make it up to you and Whitney. I'll talk to you and whitney tommorrow in class
peace,
Scotty Grover
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